Saturday, 5 February 2011

Disappoitment, rejection and a good old telling off.

I arrived home on Monday to find a rejection letter from a womens' magazine waiting for me. I'd had an awful day, as I'm still bunged up with a cold/cough, and so a rejection was the last thing I needed. It's part of the course as a writer, almost a qualification to be a writer, is how I like to think of it but it still stings when it drops on the door mat. I keep each one, in a gloomly folder, maybe I'll re-decorate the downstairs toilet one day as a badge of honour for surviving the hard knocks prior to success.

Tuesday found me off work and wrapped in a duvet tapping away on the keyboard whilst in bed - it felt so decadent. Though, the only disappointment to grow from my poor state of health was missing my Writers' group come Wednesday night - 'if you can't go to work, you can't go and play' whispered the moral police, so I had to cancel. Annoying to say the least, as I've completed a short story 'The clocks were striking thirteen' which I should have read aloud two weeks ago! Anyway, it'll have to wait till next meeting.

So, with feeling poorly plus two disappointments my mood started to fester, I began along the negative track which I've learnt from experience ain't a pretty one. I indulged myself for a little while but then began the 'telling off'. I was more than capable of completing my novel, more than capable of getting my short stories published, time was on my side, knowledge and creativity too. So within an hour or so I was delving into the world of other authors - googling their work and reading of their early years struggle - if they can do it, so can I! It's part of the course for me, one which I've learnt to bounce back from rather than succumb too. In fact, I've realised that several things I do as a writer are necessary elements of my personality and aid my writing. I've learnt over the years to embrace them and sometimes encourage them to make the most of my ability. For instance, I'm very much a solitary person; I enjoy being with people for the short time I'm with them but the majority of the time, I'm a lone hunter. I enjoy silence, I view it as a gift in this busy world. So as a writer I couldn't wish for better elements; solitary and silence to assist with my goal. I won't deny that in years gone by my family have felt my solitude had the potential to be detrimental to my life; my mother used to worry herself sick. I feel it was and still is, all part of the package, a kind of young apprenticeship into the world of writing.

Apprenticeship knowledge: solitude and silence work wonders.
                                          some ideas need germinate before they're ready.
                                          self belief and hard work are the key.
                                          you must be writing to be a writer.

So, feeling as I'm all bright and breezy today, I shall head off to the keyboard as I have the house to myself for two whole days - luxury!

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